A short eBook for those facing clinical depression in a loved one

I survived clinical depression and I've watched people close to me do the same. I know how difficult it can be to find yourself facing a loved one with clinical depression. I've watched friends of mine struggle with how to help me with an illness they'd never experienced and couldn't possibly understand. It's easy to feel lost and helpless. 

I wrote this book to help people like my best friend. It took us years before I learned to tell her what I needed and she learned how to give it to me. My hope is that this book can shorten that process and help those who feel completely lost when they look at their friend, sister, dad, partner and don't know how to help--and indirectly help those who actually find themselves in the deep, dark hole of clinical depression.

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Here is an excerpt on "what to say to a depressed person":

The short and unfortunate answer is that nothing you can say will help. Words of encouragement fall on deaf ears. Don’t misunderstand this to mean that we don’t need you—we do. We need you to listen without trying to fix things, to remind us that you aren’t going anywhere, to let us know that it’s okay that we’re depressed and that you don’t expect us to be happy or smile or pretend that everything is okay. We live in constant fear that our depressive behavior will push you away, that you will “get sick” of us and give up. When you remain present in our lives, we are reassured that you are still in our corner.

Try to avoid questions like “Did you have a good day?” The answer is “No”. We didn’t have a good day. This question makes us feel like you don’t understand that we are depressed, that you expect us to suddenly have a good day, or that you don’t take our depression seriously. You are just being conversational, but once through the depression filter, this innocuous question can be hurtful. A better question might be, “How was your day?” This question gives us a chance to open up and share with you.

We also like to hear about your day. Tell us what you did, who you talked to, or what you’re going through. Telling us about your struggles can be particularly helpful, as they feel less foreign than your happy stories (although, you should share those too!). Avoid trying to commiserate or empathize if you haven’t been through clinical depression. We are happy that you haven’t been in this dark place, trust me, but it’s frustrating when people assume that they know what it’s like if they don’t.

Please consider purchasing this eBook. It's a quick read and I believe the information is invaluable.